People’s List #99. I’ll always be nicer to the cat than I am to you

99. Xiu Xiu – Dear God I Hate Myself

Released: 2010

When I got it: Leak, promo or leak-as-promo. Never paid for it.

What I originally thought: I thought it was the 9th best album of 2010. Convenient having these comprehensive records. My original interaction with Dear God I Hate Myself was a little strange for me because at that point I had lost the original zeal I had for Xiu Xiu (which was strong) and was listening partly out of obligation-to-past-self, but I really did like it. It was a packaging of the Jamie Stewart angsty stuff into actual pop song-sized boxes, and it had variety, and it wasn’t actually difficult to listen to.

The interim: I interviewed Jamie Stewart for Totally Dublin, fulfilling a late teenage dream. I didn’t listen to or think about Xiu Xiu that much after that, really.

What I think now: Pretty much the same as I thought before but with more focus and distance. I am less guilty about the fact that I was forgetting the songs that made me cry and the songs that saved my life and all that stuff. Having spent a lot of my time listening to things like Tune-yards and The Blow and Solex in the interim, I appreciate it for its scatty pop sensibility more than its emotional earnestness, but that could just be because I’m not depressed. The title track is still anthemic and hipstery genre tourism is a low-key favourite mode of mine. I will probably listen to this more, now.

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