A review of Dr. Dre’s Coachella set in the form of a graph of charisma levels on stage.

1. It’s Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg, and they’re opening with The Next Episode.
2. Inevitable realisation that Dr. Dre is old and massive and not that cool, coinciding with ‘new material’.
3. Back to G-funk classics.
4. Nate Dogg slideshow disappears, revealing Kurupt alongside Snoop. Warren G appears wearing a ‘warren g .com’ tshirt.
5. An attempt is made to excite the crowd for the arrival of Wiz Khalifa, continuing a run of songs that Dr. Dre wasn’t ever involved with.
6. Snoop Dogg leaves the stage entirely, leaving Dr. Dre and Kendrick Lamar alone together in front of many thousands of people. The song’s great, yeah, but that’s a charisma chasm.
7. 50 Cent appears with Tony Yayo, who actually does nothing but hype for 50 Cent. Snoop also reappears, apparently about half a minute late, which is great.
8. A hologram of Tupac Shakur performs two songs, including a song with Snoop, who raps at the hologram as if it’s real.
9. Eminem makes a joke about having to leave because he has a cab waiting for him.
10. Show closes with Dre and Snoop disappearing into the stage after Still D.R.E.

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One response to “A review of Dr. Dre’s Coachella set in the form of a graph of charisma levels on stage.

  1. Pingback: Read: Those Geese’s Dr. Dre Coachella Graph

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